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Welcome to My Journal

quotes, metaphors, and everyday observations related to my self-care journey

Is forgiveness good advice?

Well I would say that depends on so many things... so it's both a yes and no situation.

Yes, if you have done the necessary steps that precede and preclude forgiveness.

No, if you are attempting to completely avoid emotions and the part of you has unprocessed feelings.

Yes, if you have honored YOU and YOUR EXPERIENCE of the situation at that time.  

No, if you are shaming yourself for not being more compassionate/ more spiritual.  

Yes, if you validating and being there for the part of yourself that has been stuck all these years.

No, if you are abandoning yourself, and denying your needs (much like perpetrators, parents and well meaning others likely did)

Yes, if you have transformed and transmuted the pain and would like to forgive.

No, if you think you should forgive or if you think forgiving is a simple choice.

Forgiveness may come naturally after we have been compassionate and cared for the part of us that is still experiencing the feelings, sensations, stories, and ideas that resulted from life shaping, life changing, often unspeakable events. 

Don't rush it.  Don't force it.  Take care of you and see what happens.  Don't skimp.  I want to help you be there for yourself in all the ways that didn't happen.

They say love starts at home.  I believe this means start making a home for you, in the sense of restoring warmth, comfort, and safety in the relationship between you and you. 

Then you can be at home wherever you are. 

May love and laughter warm your heart and *new* home!  I am here for you.